Episode 6

Hugging limiting beliefs, with Lena Nasiakou

Published on: 29th May, 2022

Is it possible to accept our limiting beliefs? Hug them and thank them?

Lena Nasiaskou is an Embodied Coach, Trainer and Facilitator, and she will guide us in a powerful meditation on limiting beliefs, we will discuss the impostor syndrome, the importance of the body and pratical tools to feel grounded.

You can find Lena here:

Transcript
Lena:

I think when we experienced situations or yeah, circumstances

Lena:

that they throw us out of our regular normal way of doing things, then I

Lena:

think these limiting beliefs are really kicking in a massively, unfortunately.

Lena:

So, yeah.

Lena:

And what can we do

Serena:

Today I'm really happy to have here Lena Nasiakou embodied

Serena:

coach with lot of experiencing using the body as a transformation tool.

Serena:

We are going to discuss the importance of fighting, limiting beliefs.

Serena:

The use of meditation in doing so, and Lena is going to share practical

Serena:

examples to fight limiting beliefs.

Serena:

Thank you so much, Lena, for being here with us.

Lena:

Thank you very much for having me here.

Lena:

It's it's lovely to work together and also to really take a moment.

Lena:

Let's take a moment to discuss a, that, what do you have planned to discuss and

Lena:

yeah, bring some light into the topics.

Lena:

The, the focus, when you first asked me about being part of your

Lena:

podcast, I immediately connected with it, with the topic of thing back.

Lena:

And for me being black means paying back to myself, being back

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to the moments that I feel good.

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I do things well.

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I feel good in my skin because there are so many moments I think, in our lives.

Lena:

He has people that they are on maternity leave, let's say for a couple of months.

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And then they have to go back to work or people who are, who face

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the trauma or people who were in hospital had an accident, or even

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people who were in a different role.

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They were a team player, a team, a part of a team.

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And then they became a team later and all of a sudden, it's, it's a very

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new thing and it takes a couple of.

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Months, maybe it takes time to test and come to the point that

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you feel, oh, now I'm back.

Lena:

I'm really back.

Lena:

So that's why I'm very happy to be here.

Serena:

Thank you, Lena and do you think we have the luxury of time?

Lena:

No, actually now that you're asking, I think most of the times we don't

Lena:

and that's counter productive because when we don't feel that we are working

Lena:

or being at our best and we have to perform, you have to do it's even more.

Lena:

It adds even more pressure.

Serena:

Yeah, I have same feeling and, and this is why for me, it's a gift

Serena:

to have you here because you are doing something really special for us today.

Serena:

Do you want to explain what you are going to propose to our listeners today?

Lena:

Yes.

Lena:

Oh, you make me smile.

Lena:

Let me say that the it's a gift and Yeah.

Lena:

It's I was thinking that we can work with the topic of limiting beliefs and

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imposter syndrome, because I think, I didn't know, but many, many people are

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suffering from limiting beliefs, from beliefs that they hold about themselves

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and they are really holding them back.

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And that.

Lena:

It's a topic that I would like to share with people so they can

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really, they can really see that it's something that it is happening.

Lena:

It's not only me or you, but it's like, it can happen to everyone.

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And actually what's, what's interesting is that recently I read an interview from Tom

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Hanks, the well-known actor, and then he says, and I have a cure so I can read it.

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When are they going to discover that I am in fact, a fraud and

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take everything away from me?

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I mean, we all know.

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And he's so well-recognized and he is a war awarded actor.

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It's so interesting and it's not only him.

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It the imposter syndrome, a syndrome, which is a, in few words, explained

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it's a syndrome that we believe that what we have achieved is not because

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we deserved it, but because it's because of luck and people are going

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to discover they can away from us.

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So it's something that it doesn't discriminate, age, sex,

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gender the years of experience.

Lena:

Nothing it it happens.

Lena:

It can happen to everyone.

Lena:

So, I think when we experienced situations or yeah, circumstances

Lena:

that they throw us out of our regular normal way of doing things, then I

Lena:

think these limiting beliefs are really kicking in a massively, unfortunately.

Lena:

So, yeah.

Lena:

And what can we do

Lena:

mean I don't have a magic wand, but maybe we can start with what

Lena:

is not good to do, because what happens if we have a limiting belief?

Lena:

Let's let me tell you one of my limiting beliefs.

Lena:

So.

Lena:

A year and a year ago, a year and a half ago, I made the transit from the nonprofit

Lena:

sector profits of the corporate work.

Lena:

And.

Lena:

It was so intense.

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And so they figured out that I was questioning myself on a daily basis,

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feeling that I'm not a good fit for corporate, but I'm not good enough

Lena:

that maybe I should stop doing all the embedded learning things that I'm doing

Lena:

can just be normal, regular trainer.

Lena:

So what was going on is that I had this beliefs, let's say

Lena:

I'm not a good fit for COVID.

Lena:

Uh, I just wanted to post them away.

Lena:

I wanted it.

Lena:

I don't have this believe anymore.

Lena:

I was like, yeah, if this is a struggle, I want, I wanted to put the side.

Lena:

So this is one thing that we usually do.

Lena:

And out like just a small thing to try now with uh people who listen

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to us and also with you before we go to the main exercise just to embody.

Lena:

And so with your tests, If you, if you can bring in your mind

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now, your negative belief, how, what do you want to do with it?

Lena:

What do you want to do with it and bring it in your mind and just put the

Lena:

gesture in it, what you want to do with

Serena:

it.

Lena:

Yeah.

Lena:

What are you doing with?

Lena:

Yeah,

Serena:

I was trying to create a ball to transform.

Serena:

Like it's not longer a weapon that is hurting me, but it's

Serena:

like our win that I can enjoy.

Serena:

So I was trying to transform it in something different.

Serena:

And you did something really powerful

Lena:

I was pushing it away because I don't want to see it.

Lena:

Like it's like I sit in front of me, but I don't want to say it.

Lena:

It triggers.

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And most of people have this idea.

Lena:

They want to transform it.

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They will not put it in their back.

Lena:

They will not put it aside.

Lena:

They don't want it as it looks like right now.

Lena:

And this is very normal, but what it takes, if we want to work with

Lena:

our limiting beliefs is to accept.

Lena:

Now easier said than done.

Lena:

I know that it's very easy to say.

Lena:

Yeah, yeah.

Lena:

Just accepted, but it doesn't happen.

Lena:

So what we can do is one of the things that we can do is have like an embedded

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process that can help us acknowledge say accepted and slowly let go.

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And that was the plan for this for this book.

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Cause if we can work together.

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Online and everybody who is listening to that right now, plus who maybe doesn't

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have a privilege in working with the core.

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Try out this exercise.

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So for the ones for listening to us right now, you only need to be in

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a place that you feel comfortable, that there are no people around

Lena:

you and you can keep sending.

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So they can moment with a press pose now, so you can find this

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place for yourself and then we can

Serena:

start.

Lena:

Okay.

Lena:

We can start and that if you're seated, please stand up and we are simply

Lena:

going to ground ourselves first.

Lena:

So what's your feet fill your feet against the floor.

Lena:

Relax your shoulders.

Lena:

Take a slow breath, breathing slowly and

Serena:

breathe,

Lena:

and you can keep your case load.

Lena:

Or you can close your eyes, close your

Serena:

eyes.

Lena:

They can either slow breath

Serena:

and let it out

Lena:

and blink in your mind now and topic that you want to

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play or limiting beliefs around.

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At topic that keeps you basically play and you want to work out right now

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and now simply observe quits out of the limiting beliefs

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that are connected with this.

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Simply observe them without any

Serena:

attachment.

Serena:

And now they

Lena:

can moment to place these limiting beliefs.

Lena:

In front of you as if you were watching them in front of a screen,

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maybe they're too, maybe are three, simply observe them in front of you as

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if you were reading them on a screen.

Serena:

And now they can moment

Lena:

block.

Lena:

No, let's this believes for how they protected you.

Lena:

They can moment to see how these beliefs have been serving you.

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And now imagine that this believes that they are in the screen,

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they're coming closer to your chest.

Lena:

They're coming closer to your heart.

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And when you feel ready, open your arms and hug them while you're giving

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yourself a big warm and senators hug

Serena:

and when you

Lena:

open your hands and let them

Serena:

go

Serena:

and take a deep breath.

Lena:

Take another deep breath and exhale, Sarah,

Lena:

lift up your face, relax your shoulders.

Lena:

Feel your feet against the ground.

Lena:

And when you are ready, you can open your

Serena:

eyes.

Serena:

Oh, thank you.

Serena:

I was not ready to be brave.

Serena:

Oh, it was really powerful.

Serena:

And I didn't expect that.

Serena:

Normally in the coaching session, what are you going to do after this exercise?

Lena:

There's usually a conversation.

Lena:

So after the exercise, I give her a couple of minutes in silence.

Lena:

So the call take and really take it clean.

Lena:

And then it's a discussion where the coaches can share what happened

Lena:

in the visualization, how they see,

Serena:

and what if we are alone doing that maybe because

Serena:

we are listening to this.

Serena:

What can we do after the visualization

Lena:

with ? If you take a moment for yourself and a moment can

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be five minutes can be one.

Lena:

Let's take a moment to really take everything in , can

Lena:

be that you wanna stay in.

Lena:

Silence can be that you want to throw and express yourself in drawing can

Lena:

be that you want to write down the clothes can also be that you're going

Lena:

to save them with somebody that is really close to you or go for a walk.

Lena:

Probably say ways of handling our own emotions are already yeah.

Lena:

Valid.

Serena:

Do you think it's something that you need to do multiple times?

Lena:

Multiple times.

Lena:

Yeah.

Lena:

And what is interesting is that we will never get read, or we'll

Lena:

never be like without any limiting beliefs, but would be great.

Lena:

We would do one exercise and then it's done.

Lena:

But if we keep doing this exercise or other exercises, we can, we can have

Lena:

another exercise on power pose and later if you want, it really helped.

Lena:

I do know that, oh, when these limiting beliefs kick in, when these feelings

Lena:

and thoughts of I am an imposter comes, I have a tool that I can use.

Lena:

I have a technique that I can put in practice, so I don't feel helpless

Lena:

or I don't feel the overwhelm in the, the extent that I used to feel.

Lena:

And slowly, slowly, They fade away, but unfortunately other

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ones will come in the foreground.

Lena:

It's, it's a lifelong, it's a lifelong learning.

Lena:

It's a lifelong story.

Lena:

So every time we can have something to work with them, that's the

Serena:

yes.

Serena:

And do you want to share anything else to our listeners?

Lena:

Yes.

Lena:

Actually I would like to walk you through the exercise and explain

Lena:

why we did these different stages in the exercise and what helps.

Lena:

Y Y hell what helps what?

Lena:

So we started with grounding, putting ourselves and feeling that

Lena:

the ground and closing our eyes.

Lena:

And this is really great.

Lena:

When if you observe yourself, when you have these limiting beliefs, mostly

Lena:

we don't have our feet on the ground.

Lena:

Either we are crossed leg or we are not really connected with.

Lena:

So it really, really helps if we get connected first, if we

Lena:

really start from another level, we start from the ground level.

Lena:

So that's, that's the ground thing part then you visualize the topic

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and the next part was observation.

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So I ask you to simply observe the limiting beliefs in front of you and

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try to see them like in a screen.

Lena:

We held Jasmine now resay that the thought of visualization is huge.

Lena:

And I think it's true because we read to the visualization, the unconscious

Lena:

brain and our minds, our brain doesn't know that this is like mental health.

Lena:

It thinks that this is the case.

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So it helps us to disconnect the attachment from the belief itself.

Lena:

So if I'm thinking I'm not good enough, and I have a judgment that this isn't

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like a really bad thing to think about.

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If I try to disconnect the attachments as sick as a thought,

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it's a thought I'm not good enough.

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Then it passes by.

Lena:

He told her they reframes the whole belief.

Lena:

So that's the reason that we took, there was a fake.

Lena:

The next part is about acknowledgement.

Lena:

Now what's interesting is that most people aren't aware that these beliefs

Lena:

are there to protect us the surface.

Lena:

Maybe not now rhythm to create them right now, because now they're unsufficient,

Lena:

but we played them at the moment that they were there to protect us.

Lena:

And I'll illustrate this with an example.

Lena:

Like uh, if this baby elephants and when they are really small, they put them at

Lena:

there's a pole and they tied their legs in the pole with a rope and the elephant

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tries to escape and it cannot escape.

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So it's in pain and everything.

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So it learns to stay close to the road because it knows that if it

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goes away, It will be in pain.

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And what's interesting is that the elephant grows and becomes a huge pig

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elephant, which weights tones, which can easily destroy the pole and run away.

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But they don't do it because they are, they believe their belief that if they

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go, if they try to escape from the pole, the pole will give them guidance.

Lena:

It will be very painful.

Lena:

So you see how things work?

Serena:

Yes.

Serena:

We need to do this visualization with the elephants.

Lena:

That's a good one

Lena:

is to make them free to make us free, but to make us free.

Lena:

How has this been serving us?

Lena:

So it has been serving the little elephant because it helped him not to have pain.

Lena:

It avoided the pain and it served us in the past because of X and Y reasons.

Lena:

So first before we let go, anything, we need to accept.

Lena:

And then we have the acceptance part, which is really to take everything in

Lena:

and have this Dell, both superpower for hug, to hug the beliefs and hug ourselves

Lena:

because we tend to be super harsh on ourselves for we have this belief.

Lena:

So January was and super genuine, big warm hug to ourselves.

Lena:

It really helps to really feel an embody, how it is to accept these

Lena:

beliefs, to acknowledge them and yeah.

Lena:

To, to really accept them and have them close to us.

Lena:

And then the last part, the letting go.

Lena:

With a test here that we get open our hands and we can release

Lena:

it and they can, they can go.

Lena:

It's not that we are pushing them away is that they can go, they can

Lena:

go because we have accepted them.

Lena:

So that's, that's the whole idea of the exercise.

Lena:

The three, three thumb thing, observation acknowledgement, acceptance, and let it

Serena:

go.

Serena:

So I have a question Did maybe can sound like a provocative one, but it's not.

Serena:

Why do you think we forget that we have a body when we are working?

Lena:

Oh, that's a good, I think, you know what, you know, I'm giving

Lena:

three new courses and one of the things that I'm saying usually

Lena:

in the beginning is that with.

Lena:

From the neck up is everything.

Lena:

Everything happens from the neck up.

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And then our is a brain taxi and it's not, we get so much disconnected

Lena:

with our bodies because it's not valued in their societies.

Lena:

We are living in.

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And it's so not true.

Lena:

It's so not true.

Lena:

Our but is really it's keeps the score.

Lena:

There's a very nice book that they really love.

Lena:

It's called the body, keeps the score and clearly does everything happens

Lena:

in a very physical level and at the same time in the brain level and

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according to ontological coaching which tackles the way of being, we are in

Lena:

the world in three different ways.

Lena:

One with our body, second one without fault.

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And the third one with the moods that we live in.

Lena:

So the emotions in the moves, and then the logical approach says that

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these two ways of these three ways of thinking are he can imagine them as three

Lena:

circles, that they are interconnected.

Lena:

And there is so these are three circles that they influence each other.

Lena:

And we usually, unfortunately.

Lena:

We usually try to go only on a health level on what we are telling to ourselves

Lena:

for what we are telling to others.

Lena:

But if we try to incorporate a bit of the international layer and the

Lena:

Bradley layer, we can see a lot of results just because it's so unknown.

Lena:

It's unknown because we are so used to, we live in our body that we don't observe it.

Lena:

It's like a fish is living in the water.

Lena:

And when does the face know that it's not in the water anymore when you take it out?

Lena:

So it's the same for us when we start observing our bodies and acknowledging

Lena:

it in three, makes a very big difference.

Lena:

It's like our face is outside and observing and understanding

Lena:

that it's not in the water then.

Serena:

I think we need to do a lot of things on this.

Serena:

And do you have any advise on, be more aware of our body when we are

Lena:

working?

Lena:

Yeah, that's certainly simple taking like the one we did in the beginning with the

Lena:

brown thing helps every time we fail.

Lena:

There are a lot of thoughts coming into us to put ourselves on the

Lena:

ground and take a deep breath, full the belly with the air and exhale.

Lena:

That's something that people want to see that people that you are in the meeting

Lena:

with or anything, but they will certainly feel the difference in, in our presence

Lena:

so that that can make a big difference.

Serena:

Thank you.

Serena:

Thank you so much, Linda, for this beautiful experience.

Serena:

Thank you for being with us.

Lena:

Thank you.

Lena:

It has been really lovely.

Serena:

Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

Serena:

I hope you will use this meditation in your daily life.

Serena:

Please share it with friends.

Serena:

You can find all the information in the description and also on their website.

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About the Podcast

I'm Back!
Returning to work after a life-changing experience can be tough. Whether due to illness, injury, maternity, or for any other reason, we can face a multitude of challenges.

Join Serena Savini as she shares her own struggles with returning to work, and explores ways we can navigate change with empathy, and emerge thriving.

Through conversations with guests, Serena uncovers stories from different perspectives on how we can create a warm environment with a human touch to come back to work.

Artwork by Sara Ronzoni (www.operegeniali.com)

About your host

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Serena Savini

HR Expert, Facilitator and Counselor, Serena Savini is the founder and host of the I'm Back! Podcast. For the past 15 years, she has been working in big organisations and in startups across Europe and US with a heart centric approach to Human Resources and Learning & Development.

She was born with a disability and she had an injury at work in 2016. Since then, she began to do a personal healing process and she became curious about other stories around coming back to work after a life changing experience.